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Autumn

by Blind Lion

supported by
Christian Ortmann
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Christian Ortmann 3 square meals a day. Favorite track: Dinner.
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1.
Dinner 03:38
It’s over. Autumns come, and summers gone. Faces changed and you moved on. The rising tide was moving in the waves had come and dragged us out and we weren’t strong enough to fight it. But I won’t waste my time, thinking about the end. And I won’t waste my time, wishing you were here. I will try and try to let this go, so I don’t end up alone. But I can’t hide the simple truth… I miss my best friend, and the way she looked at me When I told her that I’d hold her until my arms gave out. Her eyes would glimmer over dinner, then we’d crash into our bed where we’d sink beneath the sea of silky sheets. I wrote letter after letter, I wrote song after song Hoping one day that you’d write back or that you’d maybe sing along. But with every trembling pen stroke, and with every word that I spoke, The ink would dry, you’d say goodbye, and I’d be left alone. But I won’t waste my time, thinking about the end. And I won’t waste my time, wishing you were here. I will try and try to let this go, so I don’t end up alone. But I can’t hide the simple truth… I miss my best friend, and the way she looked at me When I told her that I’d show her the world. But patience grew thin. Where do I begin? I could’ve been the man she always wanted. I just want you to know that… I miss my best friend, and the way she looked at me When I told her that I’d hold her until my arms gave out. Her eyes would glimmer over dinner, then we’d crash into our bed where we’d sink beneath the sea of silky sheets. But never again, I miss my best friend.
2.
Timid 03:39
Going nowhere, tracks all covered. It’s been awhile since 17. The guardrail is calling me, and I am shaking in my shoes. My pain’s been masked by a fake smile. You make it real, won’t you stay awhile. I’m tired of feeling incomplete, and shaking in my shoes. I’m supposed to go down my own path, but what do I do when every path leads me to you? Going nowhere, tracks uncovered. I hope I make it to 23. This life has not been kind to me, it leaves me shaking in my shoes. But your smile is the kindest thing that I have ever seen. It keeps me safe, and it holds me steady, when I am shaking in my shoes. I don’t want to go home, I don’t want to fall asleep I would give anything to be anyone but me. I’m supposed to go down my own path, but what do I do when every path leads me to you?
3.
Collapsing on a bench, in a run down train station. Two years have led straight to this. There was good, there was bad, but none of that will matter when I step on that train headed north. You made me miserable, but in the end I can’t blame just you. So i’ll sigh, wave goodbye, while you hang your head and cry. But as this train moves on, so will I. One foot in front of the other, they say. But my hearts screaming, “stay, her pins and her needles are worth all the pain that you’ll endure, and I’m sure you won’t last another cold autumn day without the warmth of her tempting embrace. I know that, you know that, she knows that. So get off this train, before it’s too late.” Watching you depart in this run down train station, truly just tears me apart. I am hurt, but I’m in love. So darling please stay here, and walk off that train headed north. We made ourselves miserable, but in the end we’ve no one to blame. I only care if you’re there, so honey don’t you dare tell me you don’t feel the same. One foot in front of the other, you say. But I’m stuck screaming, “Stay, my pins and my needles are worth all the pain that you’ll endure, and I’m sure I won’t last another cold autumn day without the warmth of your calming embrace. I know that, you know that, we know that. So get off that train, before it’s too… So i’ll get off this train, before it’s too late. But you said, honey its far, far too late.
4.
Autumn 03:48
When we get old and we’re no longer gold, will you still look at me like I’m precious and bold? Because when I’m alone, thoughts like seeds, they sow into my mind as the worries, they flow. I don’t want to end up all alone. I want a place to call home, like an analog voice on the phone telling me, “I’ll see you soon.” I feel like trees in autumn. Promise that I won’t be forgotten. I’m falling apart, just don’t let me fall too far. I know just how your feeling, the future surely is fleeting. But don’t lie there bleeding, your old friends are waiting for you. Even though I’m full grown, I still sink like a stone. Getting wiser with age won’t just happen on its own. When it’s warm, I feel cold. It just goes to show that my shattered mind can still chill to the bone. Still, I don’t want to end up all alone. I just want a place to call home, like your refreshing voice on the phone telling me, “this soon will pass.” I feel like trees in autumn. Promise that I won’t be forgotten. I’m falling apart, just don’t let me fall too far. I know just how your feeling, the future surely is fleeting. But don’t lie there bleeding, your old friends are waiting for you.

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The first of four seasonal EP's, Autumn brings a feeling of nostalgia and despondence.

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released September 22, 2016

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Blind Lion Bridgewater, New Jersey

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